Journal Notes |What Would You Say
Individuals often hurt us, make us feel emotions we don’t know what to do with and it can be confusing with how to handle the emotions in a healthy manner. Writing a letter is a journal technique which can be therapeutic as it enables you to express your feelings without being judged or hurting the other person. After writing the letter it is possible there is no need to do anything else.
I do have to warn about the use of writing a good-bye letter to a loved one who is deceased. Many clients have come into my office reporting that well meaning friends have told them to write a good-bye letter only a few weeks after a death. The reality is, we can continue writing letters to individuals for as long as we need. Unless the individual is feeling the need to write a “good-bye” letter, there is no need to attempt that step. This is a closure technique that should only be attempted when ready.
I have written letters to my Mom over the past year, along with prayers and have no doubt that I will continue to write as I need. I’m discussing letters because the prompt for today’s Write or Die Wednesday with Mia and Vashelle made me think of my Dad. He died when I was 10 and over the years I have never written a letter to him.
The official prompt for today is:
If you could have a one-hour coffee date with anyone in the world (or on the other side), who would it be? Why? What would you talk about?
At first I thought I would love to meet with Oprah or some other celebrity. I then realized there are many things I do not know about my Dad. When one loses a parent at a young age, you aren’t supposed to know them as anything other than your parent. I would love to get to know him as a person.
The world of coffee alone is totally different from when he was alive. Thus, I would have to make sure the changes in the world were not the main topic of conversation. However, I would love to show him what computers look like now and the capability of cell phones.I would want to know what his favorite music was. What was his favorite color? Where did he live when he was a student at the University of Kentucky? Have I become what he hoped for me? As I think about it, simply being in his presence as grown woman would be amazing.
Who would you want to have coffee with? Are there letters you need to write and not send? Take time today to join this wonderful link-up.
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I love the idea of writing a letter and not sending it. This has me thinking already!
Cassie, I’m so glad to hear this has you thinking. It can be so therapeutic as we often keep things inside and never place them anywhere! Thanks for stopping by!
This is so beautiful. I would love to have coffee with my dad too– he’s around but we don’t spend much time together one-on-one. It’s something I might plan on when I visit for the holidays. Thanks for these inspiring posts, Sheryl!
Thanks Daisy. I hope you are able to have that coffee date with your Dad during the holidays. I’m always glad to hear that something I’ve written has helped someone!
Sheryl, thank you so much for sharing this information! I’ve never written a goodbye letter to anyone nor an unsent letter. I can see how a goodbye letter might be premature if there turns out to be more you’d like to say to the person.
I used to have difficulty communicating my feelings, so I would use letter writing to say how I felt. These letters were delivered though 🙂
I’m sorry that you lost your father at such a young age. Is that what prompted you to get into grief therapy?
So glad to see you this week! I always love how informative and personal your posts are. (((hugs)))
Vashelle, I truly feel that the death of my Dad is what lead me to be a grief counselor. I’ve walked the walk and totally understand the different layers of grief. I feel that in many ways i’ve always been able to make the struggles or sad times that I’ve encountered into something good and meaningful. It’s so important that we help each other.
Letter writing is such a great technique in regards to getting emotions out. I’ve also written some letters that I delivered – some results were good, others not so much.
As always, loving this link-up! XO
I can’t imagine losing my father and I cry every single time the thought crosses my mind. He’s my best friend and my heart aches for you in your loss, especially a loss you endured so young. This was a beautiful post and I’m glad I was able to meet you through this link-up today.
Thank You Ashley, Sadly, I’ve lived more of my life without my Dad than I did with him. However, the time I had with him was wonderful. I knew I was loved and that has always helped me with my grief towards not having him.
I just put up my post too but I really like your perspective on it. Well-written post
Thank You. I love that we can all take different perspectives with our posts. I’m going to head over and read yours next!
I love writing letters in my journal. It makes me feel so much better. This is great idea.
Letters are a wonderful way to express how you feel and to do it in a manner that doesn’t hurt anyone if you are uncertain of how your words will be taken.
Letter writing is such a therapeutic tool. It’s nice as you can write letters, express your emotions and often feel better without the other person hearing what they may/or may not need to know.
I love the letter writing technique. I use it all the time to say what I want to someone that I feel like I can’t in real life. It works well.