We Grieve More than Death

Over the past year and a half, I have watched a corporation I loved dearly consistently let people go. Yes, I know in this economy that lay offs are not abnormal but this has been an event where it continues to bleed. As someone once said, it is as if they (those in charge) keep cutting off an arm, then a leg and then another arm and slowly there is nothing left of the body. Just recently it was announced there would be more lay offs. There are continuous excuses and reasons made for the decision which are made.

I am not writing this post to point blame or criticize – that is for someone else.

I am writing this post to discuss the grief that one feels when they spend their career developing a program only to see that it no longer exists. I am writing this post for the person who expected to retire only to be told today is their last day. I am writing this post as an individual who is standing by and watching something I cared care about become something I do not know. In many ways it feels like I am watching a house burn and there is nothing I can do but stand by and watch. It’s a feeling of helplessness. There is grief and loss here and everywhere in our lives.

• The girl who loved with all her heart and finds herself asking if she could have done more in the relationship, made him love  her more, been something different.
• The young mom who dreamed of having a baby and now feels disconnected from her friends because they are not yet Moms
• The couple who tried for years to have a baby and finally realized that perhaps this dream of having a family isn’t meant to be their dream.
• The one who used to be physically active and now struggles with a chronic disease which has placed them on the sidelines of life and unable to participate.
• The employee who put in 60 hours a week for years only to be told they are no longer needed.
• The lost family treasures taken by thieves or natural disaster.
• The loss of a friendship or other relationship due to acts which can’t or won’t be forgiven.

Today I give you permission to acknowledge the loss and grief in your own life.

No matter how small or large it may be, it is yours and is real. Be gentle with yourself.