Why You Need to Ask Someone For A Favor
Do you find it difficult to ask someone for a favor?
In a world of independence and where making it on one’s own is revered, asking for a favor can often feel like a sign of weakness. No one wants to appear as if they can not do something. However, none of us can live in this world without the assistance of another. There are significant benefits to asking someone for a favor.If you want to make a friend, let someone do you a favor ~ Benjamin FranklinTake a minute and think about the level of trust you must have in someone if you are going to ask them for a favor. Being asked for a favor can make one feel valued and appreciated. Additionally, if you are asking for a favor, the person who you are asking is more likely to ask you for one in return someday. Taking this first step of asking for a favor can lead to developing a stronger relationship. I have found that many do not want to ask favors due to feeling like they would be burdening the other person or as stated above, it shows some sign of weakness. However, I believe that by nature humans do want to help each other and are genuinelly happy when asked. Over the years, I have become much more comfortable at asking for favors. As I grew up in a home with a strong, independent mother, it was modeled to do most everything on my own with very little assistance. As a result, often with great stress, I would go out of my way to accomplish things on my own. We can not live in this world without the support, assistance and favors of our friends, families and often strangers. There is no weakness in asking someone to help you. Here are a list of favors I have asked.
- I asked my Mom’s neighbor to take her to radiation treatments. (This was very difficult because as a caregiver I felt like I need to be doing everything.). The neighbor was more than happy to help.
- A local “big time” blogger (and friend) met with me in the beginning stages of this blog to answer my questions and provide guidance. Again, she was more than happy to help me and share her knowledge.
- I reached out to a friend of friend who is in private practice when I began to consider starting my own business. I had only met her a few times but she has met with me (and continues to) and provides guidance, support and cheerleading.
- After being asked to submit an online magazine post, I needed someone other than my husband to be an editor. My friend didn’t hesitate to look at my work.
- Rather than attempt to complete all of my errands or tasks, I regularly ask my husband to do me a favor and pick up items at the grocery store or do something for me around the house. It is not all my responsibility and he doesn’t mind doing these things if I ask him.
Do you find it difficult at times to ask someone to do you a favor?
Ask for one favor in the upcoming week and let me know how it goes.
Try This At Home is a weekly series. This series is inspired by Gretchen Rubin’s Happier Podcast where she makes her own try this at home suggestions to make life happier and easier at home. Weekly, I share my own successes and failures as I work towards creating a happier and healthier life.
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Great post Sheryl! I struggle with this a little. I always feel bad about asking people for favors, but then when I do, people are so grateful to help me in anyway! I have gotten better over the years. I used to be totally self-sufficient (or thought I was) and didn’t want help from others mainly because I didn’t want to burden anyone. As I get older, I realize asking for favors is actually a great way to connect with friends or even those I don’t know well. Loving this series!
Thank You Alexis!!! I’ve been like you and practically exhausted myself trying to do everything when I could have asked others to help me. I’ve had the same experience as you that others are more than willing to help when we ask and it is a great way to connect. People do want to help each other. Hope it’s been a good Monday.
Great post. Good for you for asking your neighbor to help your mom out! I think that was very brave to do that. We live in a culture where we are afraid to ask for help; it shouldn’t be this way.
Thanks Chelsea. It’s so true that our culture likes to focus upon being independent and not on relying upon each other.
I just did actually. Since I am not allowed to drive, I have to rely on others to get me around. And I am always offering to help others, because I know that I need help too! Asking has honestly been such a hard thing for me to do, and I still struggle, but I am thankful to have people to lean on when I need it.
Oh Kim, I know it’s not easy to not be able to do things for yourself. I’m so thankful that you’ve been able to reach out and let others know what you need.
Asking for help is something is so hard for me. My chronic illness, when it began, made this abundantly clear. I have been working on it for years and I have gotten better at it but it is still a challenge. Also i need to email you!
You know I love to hear from you!!! It is still a challenge for me to not try to do everything but I keep reminding myself that trying to do everything only creates stress.
Great advice! For me, it depends on who I am asking and what for. I have no problem asking my husband for things but my friends are another story!
I know what you are saying. I can ask my husband much easier than I can ask someone else. However, I’ve froud that people truly do want to help each other.
LOVE that Ben Franklin quote–and I agree completely. Sometimes we really do need to reach out. I also think that if you have someone reaching out to you repeatedly to help, it could be a sign that they are noticing your struggle and want to eliminate some of that load. Let them. There’s nothing wrong in admitting we just can’t do it all.
Thank you for this. XOXO
So true Charlotte – there is no weakness in acknowledging we can’t do everything.We need to rely upon each other and realize life is better when we do. Have a great week my friend!! XO
Love that quote! It’s so important to be willing to accept help although it can be hard. I love that you shared some ways in which you’ve accepted favors.
I haven’t always been good at accepted or asking for favors and I felt it was important to provide some examples. Some are small and some bigger but I was never turned down when I asked.
Great advice and such a wonderful quote! Asking for help can be a challenge but is so very important! Great post! Happy Monday xxx
Thank You Chrissy! Hope it’s been a good Monday for you.
Great perspective. We often feel good when we do a favor for someone so sometimes it’s good to let the other person experience that “good feeling” too.
Thanks for sharing this thought today.
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You said this so well! It makes someone feel good when they are asked to do a favor. Hope you’ve had a good Monday.
Great post! Love the attitude. I have a huge issue asking for help
Thanks Neely, I think we all struggle with asking for help.
I definitely struggle with this! I think I can “do it all” but… I can’t. And I am not one to ask for help. More often than not that leads to me snapping on Jason!
I can’t promise that I don’t still try to do “everything” but I’m realizing my limits and that life is really better when I ask for assistance.
I always feel like I am putting someone out when I ask for a favor. I don;pt want to burden anyone…ever. This perspective is refreshing though and makes me reconsider my stance. As always, you make me see things in a new light…thank you!
Well let’s think about all of the favors I have asked you! It really does put things into a different perspective when we realize that others truly want to help each other.
I am terrible at asking for favours! I’m definitely going to try your tip for this week, I don’t know what I’ll ask for help with yet though, maybe something small to ease myself into it.
Starting off small is a great idea. It doesn’t have to be something big! Would love to hear how it goes.
I’m really bad at asking anyone for help and most times it can lead to bickering with my husband. He tells me I should just ask someone to do something rather than do it all myself and complain…I guess he’s right (don’t tell him that though) HAHA. You always make such great points, thank you!
Oh my gosh, I can so relate. I always wanted my husband to automatically know what I needed and when he didn’t, I got mad. I know find that when I ask him he more than willingly does it. Thank you for your kind words!! 🙂
PS: If you have the chance, please stop by my blog today. You inspired me with this post and I gave you a little shout-out 🙂 XOXO and hope you’re having a great week!
Oh I love this! I have SUCH a hard time asking for and accepting help from others. It drives my husband crazy. I know with a new baby on the way, I’ll have to force myself to start asking for help more. This is such a kick in the pants!