This One's for My Girls
Today’s blogtember topic is to write a public love letter to someone in your life (and it doesn’t have to be romantic).
In my head, I have been creating this letter for several months and I realized it after my Mom’s death when I shared with another friend that I wasn’t sure what I had done to be blessed with such wonderful friends. (And I know I’ve said that here in this blog). I wasn’t born with a biological sister and grew up knowing how to live with my brother and his friends (Not always warm and fuzzy). I was fortunate enough to have some great girlfriends growing up but it hasn’t been until I became an adult that I have truly seen the power of female friendships.
So today, I’m sharing a public love letter about all of these wonderful, strong, fantastic, and special women who have crossed my path and who continue to help me be sane. This year I have lost the two most significant women in my life but what I have been able to see is how I am (and have always) been surrounded by powerful and beautiful women, who although not biologically my sisters have become my family. It’s also important to note that these wonderful women range in age from twenties to late 60’s. Friendship comes in all shapes and ages.
For the sake of privacy, I will not list their names publicly and hope anyone I may leave out will understand. This letter is for (in no particular order) JH, JP, BG, WC, BR, SM, LM, KG, NR, EW, and KG.
The day of my Nanny’s funeral, I sent an e-mail out to many in my closest circle simply stating I was going to need them and asking them to not forget. I immediately received responses from that e-mail and even today, three months after Nanny’s death, these women continue to support me.
What do I love about them?
I love the morning workouts that hold me accountable to someone and have given me a reason to get out of the house on days when I might have stayed in bed. I love that you are someone who “gets” me and that I can just be. It’s so nice to not have to explain myself. The day you said you just wanted me (and James) to be happy regardless of if it meant we had a baby, naturally, through adoption or not at all touched me. How lucky I am to have a friend who dreams for me when I might not be able to dream for myself. I love your spirit and how you care for the world (and that we also agree that sometimes the f word is the only word that does it for us). I love that it feels like we have been friends for years and that in essence we are both rebuilding our lives together. Thank you for letting me be a part of your rebuilding.
For the friend who I can have a conversation with across the room with one look. Who else but the two of us can talk in circles and still understand what the other means? I will never be able to thank you enough for the middle of the night texts while my mom was dying at the care center. It hurt you that you couldn’t be with me but you where there (right in the palm of my hand). I’m not sure there is anyone else I could have sat and cried on the phone with like I did with you the day after Mom’s death. You experienced the physical symptoms I did from afar so I suppose that says something about our friendship. You loved me through Nanny’s illness, from the day I heard about the surgery on the phone to her funeral. Over the years you’ve allowed me to yell and scream and never turned away. You’ve fed me, housed me and given a foot rub. How I love that you are someone I can laugh with, cry with and simply be. My FF always.
To the one who is not only absolutely gorgeous on the outside but has the inner beauty that matches. My twin, my sister (we have the sorority letters to prove it) from another mother (matching outfits at our age?). You are one of the most amazing women I know. Your kindness and goodness towards others and the world is something I would love to copy. You have the ability to calm a room with your voice and presence and have been someone I have felt drawn to from the first day I met you. I’ve never told you but I was planning on copying so many of your parenting techniques/skills. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your support in whatever it is I am doing (even when I have no idea). You believe in me when I’m not sure I believe in myself. The world is a better place because you are in it!
To the one who continues to persevere in this world despite her own losses of husbands and children. I hope that you can realize what an incredible example you are to others. Many would have just quit in regards to the life events you have been handled but you continue to reach out and help others. How I love your laughter, silliness and ability to move forward. Despite hardships, you show me and others that life does go on, and it can go on well. There are too many examples of how your friendship has blessed my life over the years. You were the one who I told “you have to always be my friend” and you responded “Of course.” You understand my grief in a way that others can not. You’ve allowed me to walk on your won grief journey and are now doing the same for me. Thank you for being one of those friends who doesn’t see age as a limit to who can be your friend.
For the Doctor, who lets me call her that and allows me to be sarcastic, and what others might call rude, and yet loves me all the more. Thanks for being the one who took the “heat” off of me all of those years ago and thanks for allowing me to be apart of your own journey of issues and pain. What was my life like before we met? I truly don’t remember. Your knowledge made me a better professional but you also have given me something I don’t even know how to explain. I value and cherish those days of sitting together and “solving” problems. I knew I would feel lost without that office to walk into and I want to let you know how much it meant that day I broke down (something I didn’t often do) in front of everyone and you hugged me, actually just held me. There was simply something about that hug that told me it was all going to be OK. I think over the years we learned to take care of each other in such tiny ways that we didn’t even know we were doing it.
How many people do you know that say they might get struck by lightening if they say something and in response you say, “Hold my hand, so it can happen to me too?” You are another person I can’t remember my world without. The person I can sit with and truly not have to do anything. I can send random texts and say random things. Were we always like that? We can be inappropriate and appropriate at the same time. You are another that if I could have chosen a sister, it would be you. I want your creativity, I want your ability to just sit with something and always say what I’m thinking but in a much nicer manner. The night that you and another friend came over after Mom’s funeral with food was such a healing moment for me. There is so much I want to say and simply can’t find the words. Just know how blessed I am to have you.
I love that I have a mentor who has become my friend, I’ve reminded her that she made me a good clinician. In response she denies that and reminds me I did the work. She challenges me in such wonderful ways and to this day I hear questions she would ask me about my own personal “stuff”. I still like to think I’m one of her favorites (even if I’m not) and she will continue to always be one of my favorite people. How wonderful it is to know that there is someone there that doesn’t think you are going to fail and that you will be successful. “You are a beautiful writer”, you said after one of my group e-mails about Mom. Your last e-mail letting me know you were thinking of me made me cry, but the cry was in a good way. Thank you for your guidance and humor and simply being you. I will forever say I’m a better clinician because of everything you provided me and I’m grateful our relationship continues.
As my mentor was to me, I have had the opportunity to have the same experience. To those once upon a time students who were randomly assigned to me (or perhaps not so randomly if we think a higher power had something to it) and have become friends.
For the one who I have been fortunate enough to watch your whole career. Continuing to be a mentor for you over this summer has allowed me to continue to grow professionally but also helped me to have purpose to my days. You are a kind and compassionate women who has accomplished so much. I believe there is truly nothing that you can’t do and hope that you can feel it. You’ve been through your own rough patches and I love you for not being afraid to acknowledge them. I think there were perhaps some days when you were caring for me and our roles were reversed. That is one of many reasons why I have such strong faith in you. Anyone who has you in their life (professionally or personally, human or animal) is a better person.
For the other, our student/mentor time together was a perfect example of life on the big scale. So many ups and downs. I love that you are a wonderful human being. You love life and have allowed me to be a part of many ups and downs. Life has given you plenty of reasons to quit, but you have faith and continue. I hope that you realize the support and feedback you continue to give me is so wonderful. You provide the world with so much love. Thank you for being my cheerleader and thank you for showing the world the importance of moving forward and having faith (even when I know it might not be there for you).
I’ve been blessed with friends who have directed me to opportunities which I would have never have taken if not for their support and encouragement. I will forever be grateful to the ones who keep me on track at times, whether it be in the form of e-mail, text or phone call (and you don’t give up on me when I might cancel). I love that I have these friends who do Cross Fit, multi- task multiple jobs and family and yet continue to be such inspirational women and friends
I am blessed that I have each of you in my life and pray I can be as equally good of a friend in return.
My Love to each of you!
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