Hello, my name is Sheryl and I struggle with perfectionism.
I am the type of person who loves order, feels everyone should have a label maker, is aware when things are out of place and always has a running list of what needs to be done.However, I’ve changed in the last two years of my life. I continue to embrace some of my perfectionist qualities (perfectionism is not a bad thing) but I have learned how continuously striving towards perfection can make you insane. Continuously striving towards and expecting perfection allows you to miss many wonderful and beautiful moments. Life has taught me that in order to appreciate and enjoy it, I must let go of perfection.
[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@how2makealife”]Letting go of perfection has allowed me to experience life from a different perspective. [/tweetthis]
Do you spend your life with a to do list?
Do you find yourself struggling to fit everything in?
Do you ever ask why you are doing what you are doing?
I’ve spent my weekend doing very few of the things on my to do list. I have weeds that need to be pulled in my flower beds, the house hasn’t been vacuumed and I still haven’t completed changing the decor of the house for summer (yes, I do that). Although my summer flowers have been on my porch for weeks, I continue to have the spring wreath on the front door (the materials for the new wreath are on my dining room floor). I weekly aspire to create a dinner menu but that continues to be something I aspire to do.
A few years ago, I would have spent my Saturday morning cleaning my house, doing laundry and making sure everything was in place. I had a good routine of what needed to be done when and I maintained it To be honest, I hated if I had to change it because of plans with friends or family. It simply meant I had to rearrange when I accomplished the list.
Perfectionism was not something my family placed upon me, but something I placed upon myself. I believe it probably came about because of several reasons. I was the little girl who may have been cute but wasn’t the most beautiful. I was always the shortest (I’ve been five feet tall since 7th grade) so I learned to carry myself tall and mastered any height of heels. I didn’t have a natural athletic ability but with practice I became one of the better ones in whatever I chose. Perfectionism allowed me to excel in school. I made sure my papers were completed early, I did the extra credit. Perfectionism made me an honor student.
Perfectionism made me work hard.
Perfectionism made me miss out on a lot of things.
Perfectionism eventually made me sick. (Perfectionism = stress, which in my case led to hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue).
In the past I would put off doing things I enjoyed to do so that I completed my task list for home and for work. I don’t allow myself to think about the times I may have not done things with those I love because I needed to complete something that I felt was more important.
The reality is, if you came to my house right now you would not see what I see that needs to be done. You would see that my kitchen is clean (but there are dishes in the drain that need to be put up). You wouldn’t notice that the floor hasn’t been dusted nor would you care that my flower arrangement on the mantle is from the spring.
I’ve accepted that there will always be more reading to do for work but I continue to be a good counselor. I’ve accepted that I want to be the person who works out daily at 5:30 but sometimes I just can’t get out of bed. I’ve accepted that neither my home nor garden will be pictured in Southern Living (but you would feel comfortable if you visited).
This weekend I spent two hours on Saturday morning at Starbucks with a friend. James and I spent the afternoon taking in the garden tour of Lexington and watching American Phahroah win the Triple Crown (simply amazing). Today, I spent the morning on my patio, journal writing and enjoying nature. The laundry has been done (but not put up and I’m ok with that). We made it to the grocery and have food to eat. I ran errands at Target and Lowes. I still have a to do list and I don’t know what I will accomplish before the day ends.
[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@how2makealife”]It’s amazing how different the world looks when you learn to accept it is ok if everything isn’t perfect[/tweetthis].
Although I still strive to be the best I can be, I no longer strive for perfection like I once did.
Today I am grateful for being able to accept that it is ok my life isn’t perfect. I have been blessed with many wonderful things and that is what matters. My hope is you are able to let go of perfection in the areas of your life that you need to. Life is too short to worry about things that do not matter.
Are you someone who always strives for perfection?
Are you missing out on life because you want everything to be perfect?
Today I encourage you to join Emily and others for Grateful Heart Monday as you find the gratitude in your life.
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Okay I SO needed this today. I spend my entire weekend working on the house and turn down lots of things because of it. I was sick most of the day Saturday and got nothing done… Yesterday Jason wanted to go to Louisville & I didn’t enjoy myself because the house was a mess! It is no fun living that way.
I am guilty of doing the exact same thing before. Life will go on because the house is a mess (and I doubt it’s that messy). By the way, I still struggle with it but I’m getting better. Enjoy the moments, they go by too quickly.
I LOVE THIS! Your posts are always so brilliant and beautifully written!
Well don’t you know how to make a girl’s day!! Thank you Christine – as always, it means so much to hear this! XOXO
Great post! I’ve always felt like a perfectionist, but working at a demanding and hectic school this year knocked some of that out of me at home! My to-do lists have shrunk drastically. 🙂
Yes, when areas of our life become more demanding – we simply can’t keep at things like we used to! I’m glad to hear your list has shrunk (and you are ok with it). Thanks for stopping by.
I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist, but I do have some tendencies that would maybe qualify as minor OCD. I like things to be a certain way! I think it was a habit inherited from my father, but I’ve found keeping things clean and tidy really helps my productivity flourish. If I don’t take time out to keep the house nice I feel bogged down and panicky. My house isn’t perfect, and sometimes I have to remember it’s a battle that will never be entirely won lol, but I do try to strive for a happy medium.
Bethany, I understand where you are coming from. I do have strong OCD tendencies but life has taught me that there are some things that just aren’t worth spending the time making sure they are “just so”. Finding that happy medium is what we all need to strive for. Thanks for stopping by!
You’re so welcome 🙂
This is me! I’ve really had to let go of perfection because after I had my second baby I was doing it all and had to slow life down after I started seeing issues with my health (posted about here http://lovepeacebeauty.com/asking-and-accepting-help/). Some things still drive me crazy but I’m def learning how to manage it all better. 🙂
It makes me sad that it takes our health declining to make us change. However, I’m so thankful that we were both able to realize where priorities need to be. Thanks for stopping by Erin!
Amen amen and more amen! This is totally me and it has been a challenge to overcome! I think the drive for perfection has brought about some good things in my life but the negatives impacts largely outweigh the positives. It is inspiring to read all the things you’re not doing on your to do list, and reminds me that the dishes really aren’t that important.
It’s an ongoing process – I don’t think we ever grow out of perfection (but then I don’t think we should). We just need to recognize what is most important and a few dishes can wait until tomorrow.
Gosh I love this. I have recently found out that I’m a perfectionist (yeah, I seriously didn’t know until about 3 months ago). Learning first that I was a perfectionist has helped me figure out when I’m trying to be one and giving myself a break when things don’t go perfectly. I’m like you, I want to have this perfect routine but then freak out when something interrupts it. It’s easier to go with the flow a little more, and be ok with the giant pile of laundry in bedroom isn’t going to get folded today (or tomorrow!)
Acceptance (and admittance) is the first step! 🙂 It does help when you are able to acknowledge something about yourself – and then you can slowly begin to recognize the world doesn’t end because the laundry is clean (but not put up). It’s amazing what I allow to go now that in the past would have driven me crazy!
I’m right there with you. If anything needs to be done, or isn’t in the right place, I will lay awake at night thinking about every single one of those things. I used to even get up and do it because it would bother me so much! Over the years I have learned to let things go better just to let go of that stress, especially for my health. Still a work in progress though 🙂
I so understand Alexis! It’s a process and somedays and times are better than others! I think being aware is the one of the first steps to making a difference.
Oooh boy, this is timely for me… <3
So glad it was Morgan!! XOXO
Waving my hand around! Hi, I’m Emily and I’m a recovering perfectionist. 😉 I love so much that you began your week taking time for yourself! I hope you’re able to continue to find that kind of time this weekend! xo
HaI Emily, I knew there were several of us out there!! Going to see where this weekend takes me!