It's Ok To Have A Simple Kind of Life
“All I wanted was the simple things. A simple kind of life.” ~ Gwen Stefani / No Doubt
For over the past year, I occasionally have the No Doubt verse run through my head. There are days that it is on auto play. Those are days when my life is more hectic and I desire simple. I’m tired. The chances are you are also tired.
In many ways I feel our society looks down upon the simple things and a simple kind of life. It often appears as if you are not living if you can’t state your life is “busy”. To state “There isn’t much going on.” can bring a look of pity upon some faces. Even the minimalist movement has created an edge of comparison regarding who can live in the smallest space or live with less. My counseling and coaching practice finds me working with those who are often overworked, over scheduled and many times physically and emotionally drained.
Deadlines and expectations leave little time for family dinners or a night of watching a movie. Often scheduling the fun things such as a night out with friends becomes too stressful of a task and doesn’t happen. Most of us are taking on too many things and feel we need to be doing more. We take on extra assignments in order to prove we are valuable at work, schedule children in multiple activities to improve chances of getting into a good college or receiving a scholarship and attempt to have a presence in all of the right social circles and galas. Social media encourages us to have fantastic vacations, beautifully decorated homes and to never spend a weekend not experiencing a new restaurant or bar in our hometown.
This is not being written in opposition to living a full and fantastic life. I am a woman building her own business, working multiple part time and freelance jobs by my own choosing. I love to travel, decorate my home, cook and shop for beautiful clothes. However, I also love my home, staying in a whole weekend where I wear my yoga pants, eat (gluten free) macaroni and cheese and wear no make-up. If I am honest, I have spent a large amount of my time making sure that I it into whatever society expected me to fit into. It has taken a lot of energy. If I am guessing correctly, those reading this have done the same.
I’m uncertain of how it happened but a simple kind of life and simple things were below what I felt I should aspire to have. Somewhere along the way I accepted the expectations that simply having a job where I go to work each day return to a nice house for dinner with someone I love was not enough.
Ultimately, each of us make decisions and choices of how we want to live our lives.
As a counselor, I have become more aware of how the choices and decisions individuals feel they MUST make lead to struggles and unhappiness. Anxiety and depression affect almost 20% of the US population and many of these diagnosis are because of the way life is being lived.
Please take some time to consider how you are living your life. Do you crave simple things such as a family dinner or sitting on your back patio? Are you truly able to enjoy your days or are you rushing through them to the next appointment or practice? Do you spend too much time concerned about what others will think if you do or don’t do something? Are you doing the work you do because of a title that makes you appear important?
Perhaps the most important question to ask is, why are you doing what you are doing?
If you find yourself wishing for a simple kind of life, take some time to reconsider how you can change what you are doing. It may be a significant lifestyle change or simply beginning to say no.
This space and my coaching practice is called How To Make A Life. I will never pretend that I have all of the answers and my goal is to provide suggestions and tips in helping others lead happy lives. I’m excited to announce I am beginning a monthly newsletter and will return to regular posting in this space. Sign up below for the first newsletter coming in May and join me!
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My husband and I have been simplifying our lives over the past few years. We had an epiphany a while back when we realized that we didn’t want to the stereotypical middle class life in the suburbs like the majority of our family and peers. We have two children, travel as much as my husband’s job in the military allows, and enjoy moving around the country (and hopefully overseas!). Great post!
Thank you! I think we all have to realize that we don’t have to fit the stereotypical mold of what our lives need to look like. I’m so excited your family is able to do these things! It takes strength to go against the norm.
I am working at having a simple life. I try not to overbook myself. In fact I don’t book myself at all. I don’t like making plans to far in advance because I do not like to be tied to anything. It’s not a lack of commitment it just comes from years of being a slave to my calendar.
I totally understand what you are saying. It’s nice to simply be able to do what one wants to do. I have a friend who used to never wear a watch when she was on staycation and simply ate when she was hungry, did what she felt. I think she learned a lot from those days. I’m a little jealous you don’t have to schedule yourself at all.
I really love this post – I am very guilty of overbooking and overdoing things (and happen to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder) – this weekend we really were intentional and slow with our time and it felt really good. I had a day I was able to sit out on my deck for awhile and it was lovely. I need to work at more days like that.
Thank you Beth. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post. It’s so easy to stay overbooked as a way to deal with anxiety but also equally helpful when things slow down. So glad you were able to slow down yesterday. Thanks for stopping by.
Love this! I think more people do need to find time to slow down and “smell the roses” if you will. I spent many hours yesterday sitting on my front porch just reading, and it was GREAT! I don’t mind being busy sometimes but I like a good balance.
-Lauren
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It is all about finding a good balance. It’s when one forgets that it’s ok to sit on the porche that problems begin. So glad you were able to enjoy yesterday. The weather was beautiful.
YES yes yes.
This echoes what I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Because truthfully?? I year for that simpler kind of life, too. There are times when I don’t want to accept a party invitation in favor of an evening on the couch with a book and my pup. But I do feel compelled to spread myself thin, because there is this weird social hangup about being everywhere and doing everything. That stupid FOMO thing (Fear Of Missing Out). Thanks for sharing this–makes me feel less alone when I opt to unwind instead of rage 🙂
XOXO
Oh girl, I so understand FOMO. Happiness comes from doing what we truly enjoy and want to do. I know sometimes we all “make” ourselves go out and have fun but other times we need to stay on our couch with our fur babies and a good show.
I definitely have been living a simpler life lately. It is very rewarding and refreshing. I am turning off screens and things to read, spend time with my family, and spend more time outside in nature. It makes all the difference.
It feels so much better to let go of things. I feel like many people don’t realize how hectic their lives truly are until they put things away and realize they don’t miss it.
This year I am craving a simpler life. There’s so much I want to do, but a person can only do so much 🙂
Yes, you have to pace yourself and realize not everything is a priority.
Part of taking care of myself this year is to get rid of baggage and clutter. Physically and mentally! I am learning to do things in a way that make it easier for me. Which is hard because Im the one that always has to go the complicated route. Great post!!
YES! This is so powerful. I am guilty of taking on too many things and have been trying to simplify and say no to things. It’s also been nice purging and getting rid of unnecessary things in our home too.
I’ve appreciated a simple life much more recently – 2016 was a rough year. Life is easier when you have a more relaxed standard of happiness. And there’s always someone who is praying for the things that you have.
Previously I led a very hectic life up until 2 years ago when I had an accident that changed my life forever. now living a more relaxed life due to my disabilities although has its own struggles its less hectic than before
Yes! I am definitely for a simple life! Ive started by decluttering our physical space and its led to decluttering our schedules and work life too!
Yes! I have found lately that I want to focus on living a more relaxed kind of life and really enjoy the smaller things.
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