The Art of Kindness
Even when I don’t feel like it, I smile at people. I hold doors open and will let the aggressive driver who is trying to pass everyone get in front of me. I’ve witnessed how a small act of kindness can change a day for someone. However, I’m not perfect. There are times when I am not as kind as I could be. There are days after hours of working with sick and dying individuals that I have little left to give the world. Emily’s February 12 Months of Bliss Challenge was to focus upon kindness over negativity in the world. She encouraged participants to not take part in office gossip or social circles and to reflect upon how it felt. As I reflect back upon the month, I can say I feel I spent the time much as I do every month. I have never been one to actively be unkind or spread gossip. In fact, a friend recently discovered news about another and in the process learned I had been informed weeks earlier. I’m the friend who takes it seriously when I am asked to not tell anyone (and then I laugh when I go someplace and hear it from another). Secrets and confidences are a part of my professional and personal nature. However, this challenge forced me to think about what one considered negativity or gossip. I work with a team of health care professionals that daily work and meet with families and patients from all walks of life. Family meetings are held, information is shared to the best ability possible and there are times when my team members are simply drained. They can’t think of another way to share information and in the privacy of our office there is venting about how someone doesn’t “get it”. There is frustration in meeting with a patient who has been admitted multiple times in a short time period and doesn’t see the need to make changes. Many times, I act as the advocate and remind my team members that families and patients are in shock and it can take an average of 7 times for an adult to actual “get” what is being said. Equally, there are times when I validate their emotions and feel the pain right alongside of them. There are difficult people in this world and venting about the situation allows for reflection and stress reduction. Holding in frustrations creates stressed out health care providers. From a social perspective, on occasion I will vent about a social situation. There’s also the occasion of commenting about what someone shouldn’t have worn (never to their face). Again, holding in of emotions can create stress and more problems. As I said, I’m not perfect but I do try to always see the good in the person. This month’s challenge has allowed me to see that overall I do practice kindness more that negativity. There is always something good about someone – even those who are considered the most difficult. Perhaps that is my social work background in looking for strengths but I also feel that is my personality.
Do you find kindness difficult to practice?
I love practicing kindness. Putting a smile on someone’s face when they least expect kindness is so rewarding. And being kind to someone who clearly doesn’t like you is the best thing ever – there is no better way of paying back.
Yes!!! it’s always a great reward to be kind to those who aren’t too crazy about you!
I try to practice kindness and smile a lot. I am not perfect and do have my times where I will talk with a friend about things that bother me but for the most part I try to stay positive and happy.
And trying to stay positive is all any of us can do.
Love this! I agree that smiling at strangers is wonderful and an easy way to brighten someone’s day. I am a school counselor, so we have completely shifted the focus of our school to highlight random acts of kindness, and other great qualities that go along with it. I am hoping that after being exposed to it for 7 years, they will continue to remember it for the rest of their lives. 🙂
What a wonderful environment. I certainly hope that the will remember what they have obtained during the time they have been with you. Thanks for stopping by.
love this! i appreciate your honesty and smiling more is something i need to work on.
Thanks Elle!
I am often told I am to kind. I smile at everyone and make eye contact. Which I recently found, freaks some people out! LOL
Oh gosh, I know that so many people look at you like you are “crazy” just because you are smiling. I keep doing it anyway. 🙂
I need to work on smiling more… I have RBF. 🙂 I also need to really work on being kinder. I’m very high-strung (who knew?) and impatient. I will participate in gossip. I am negative. I do not like those parts of myself and HAVE to change them! I think you’re a wonderful person, Sheryl!
No you don’t have RBF! You are a wonderful, genuine and kind person! Don’t forget any of that. XO
This is an important lesson (and a wonderful blog post!). I try to practice kindness whenever possible, but on occasion, I do get sucked into the petty drama. It’s unavoidable sometimes (at least, it is in my family, LOL). Anyway, you are right to step away from it now and then and to continue small acts of kindness whenever you can 🙂
Oh Charlotte, I know all about how things go in a family!! XOXO
I agree with you. I too show more kindness than negativity to the people I see in any given day. What I struggle with, is not getting involved with the “talking about others” even if it is just a venting session. I also agree, it can be a healthy way of getting out our frustrations to trusted individuals to be able to release pent up anxiety over situations. I have my husband for this. It makes me feel better inside because if I didn’t I would be a total nut case. I mean that with all due respect. Loved your thoughts, both personally and professionally on this challenge.
I think we have to be aware of how we are talking about others,I recently spoke about someone who I am concerned about in regards to burnout. Some may think I was talking about her but I was seeking advice in order to help her. It’s hard… gossip binds us but not in a healthy way. Hope you are doing well Michelle!!
Hi S. 🙂 Nice to meet you and your blog is amazing 🙂
I agree we truly need to spread kindness and love wherever we can but we are only human and will often trip up. I always will share a smile when I first meet someone but I also know in some cultures it is not polite.
I tell my kids and anyone who will listen, lol, that there are more good people on the planet than bad and we need to treat people with respect until they prove otherwise and then all bets are off, of course, lol 🙂
Especially as we all feel better when others treat us well 🙂
Happy Wednesday, cheers, T. 🙂
It is so true that we need to treat others respect and kindness. By doing so, we often break down walls that others have built. So glad you stopped by!
I loved this challenge. I am naturally a positive person, but I did realize that I tend to “vent” sometimes and it doesn’t always turn out good.
It’s so true Keri that a “vent” can easily change the other direction. It’s a slippery slope. So glad you stopped by.
Great challenge. A few weeks ago, I started doing John Maxwell’s Intentional Living program and focusing on making and seizing opportunities instead of hoping they come. Since the course, I’ve found it easier to practice kindness because I am always trying to be aware of doing just that.
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That’s so great! It’s amazing how changing our focus can make us more aware.
So interesting to hear what it’s like from someone in your profession! And yes, I can understand how this can be a helpful tool within the office. It can be damaging to hold things in, especially when you’re feeling frustrated or aren’t sure what else to do and speaking to your peers/coworkers within the workplace to figure out a solution or to vent helps that.
This whole challenge did help me to think about what is gossip vs what is simply talking about what we know and sharing information. I always appreciate these challenges.
While I don’t find it difficult to be kind, I find it difficult to stay positive in a room full of negativity. After I’m in the situation I look back and think “Why didn’t say this?” or “Why didn’t you change the mood/tone by doing this?” That is something I am always trying to work on…lifting those around me when I feel the need to make more positivity. It was also very interesting to hear your perspective from your career and what you deal with.
Emelia, I know how you feel. Negativity is hard to fight off and it is easy to get sucked into it. I’m not always perfect but I try.
I sincerely have felt nothing but love & kindness from you. Your space here on the WWW serves as a positive, encouraging, and informative space that oozes with your kindness & positivity. I know we can’t keep positive 100% of the time but we can make an effort to try.
Kindness has become a mantra of mine, I try my hardest to spread kindness & educate my babies on being kind.
I guess that’s why it bothers me when I do get sucked into negativity. I do not like being there, I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit I go there. I always hate those visits.
Kudos to you for being a positive shoulder to lean on.
XOXO