Love Letters and Thank Yous
Earlier this month I was shopping and quickly glanced across the department store counter at another customer. My initial thought was “I like her look.” When I looked back up to get a second glance at her look, I was amazed to realize the quick glance was into a column mirror and that look I liked – it belonged to me.
This is not a normal moment for me. I can typically easily provide a list of what I wish I could improve. However, at that moment I was not looking at myself with the critical eye of my bathroom magnifying mirror but from the eyes of an observer. Yes, that woman had a good look and that woman was me!
As part of Emily’s 12 Months of Bliss Challenge, the November focus was to focus upon positive self talk and positive self reflection throughout the month. Beginning the month with the above mentioned event was exactly what I needed to begin my focus.
A few months ago, I shared this quote:
And if I asked you to name all of the things that you love, how long would it be before you named yourself?”I wasn’t that completely stunned at the response I received from readers. Most stated that they wouldn’t be on the list or they would be an after thought. For years I have provided the love/like list journal activity to my clients where they create a list of 100 things that they like. I have never had a client put herself on the list. To be honest, I’ve completed the activity multiple times and have never placed myself on the list. In addition to focusing upon self talk, the November challenge encouraged everyone to write a love letter. Although I did not write a complete love letter, I have written several thank you letters to my body. I weekly work with individuals who have been diagnosed with chronic and often terminal illness. This work, in addition to my own health history, makes me very aware of the blessing I am given each day when I am able to get out of bed without assistance, eat without problems and take the six flights of stairs to my office at the hospital. This month has helped me to remember there are many things that I have learned to love about myself and equally as many things that I am thankful for each day. This particular challenge of the 12 Months of Bliss Challenge is one that I feel everyone should participate in. The only way that anyone can change thoughts is to become aware of what they are and begin to make changes. As with each of the past challenges, this has encouraged growth and self reflection. I hope you will join with Emily for the remainder of 12 Months of Bliss.
Bravo! True words and how they ring true for each and everyone. Thank you letters to my body – love that. I’ve encouraged my daughter to do this over the years too (she is in a wheelchair) and to focus on the positives her body can do. Cheers to loving ourselves!
Thanks Michelle. We need to give our body credit for what it is doing for us! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
What an amazing challenge… and yes, I would have listed myself way down on that list of things you love. Great point.
xx, Karen
GlamKaren.com
Thank you Karen. I hope you will consider joining us for previous challenges – they go until June of next year.
SHERYL. I have chills after reading that intro!!! Your moment makes me tear up, how awesome. The list activity is so interesting – and yes, after thinking about it I most likely wouldn’t have put myself on the list either. Not on purpose, I just wouldn’t have thought of it. Of course I am thinking differently now after the challenge and after reading other people’s responses to it. How encouraging. I now need to try the Thank You letter to my body – such a great exercise! Happy Thanksgiving to you 🙂
Emily, what I didn’t include in this post was that moment also happened on my Mom’s birthday. I completely feel she had something to do with it and that was her sign to me that day. I really encourage you to try the list – I have people do it as they are going through transition times because people often state they don’t know who they are. We begin to learn who we are by looking at what we like. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
oh my GOSH, Sheryl. Chills! What a special moment!!
That intro. How do you have writer’s block?! I honestly wouldn’t have put myself on the list, either. This is such an awesome activity.. thank you for the inspiration! You are beautiful- inside and out! Happy Thanksgiving, friend!
How I love you!! I’m not sharing how long I sat on my couch with the computer – writing and deleting, writing and deleting. I knew I needed to share the moment the minute it happened to me. I’m hoping the block is gone but I haven’t started writing anything else! Hope you are feeling better. XOXO
I so have had that moment, like you did, of realizing with surprise that I like my own appearance. When I really take a look at myself in the mirror, beyond the usual nitpicking, I am usually surprised by how pretty I find myself to be. Of course, that is not how it goes regularly though! 🙂 That list sounds like a very interesting exercise, and I definitely wouldn’t have thought to put myself on it. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I hope you will try the list – it’s a simple exercise that has large benefits.
I am slowly learning to fall back in love with myself and be less critical of myself. Sadly everything I was unhappy about was cosmetic and vanity issues. So sad considering that I am healthy and able bodied. I missed this link up this month and feel horrible as it is one that I think we all can truly learn from and use.
I think society has made us each only look at the cosmetic side of ourselves and we forget about the things that are truly significant. We each struggle with very similar things.
wow! Very good post Sheryl! Surely does make me think about a lot… Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this for all of us to read!
Thank you Caroline!
I don’t think I would have thought that I could put myself on the list and probably wouldn’t have for that reason, but thinking about it with the idea that I can put myself on, I’d say I’d actually put myself up toward the top, but there were times in my life when I wouldn’t have a place on the list. I think that’s one reason why I’d be able to put myself high up there now… I’ve had periods of disliking myself so much in the past and those periods were so painful and working to get over that has made me realize that even if I don’t think I’m perfect (I’m so not!), that doesn’t mean that I can’t like myself. No one that I love is perfect and if I love them, why can’t I love myself?
Thanks for this post and making me think about it!
Crystal, I so appreciate your own thoughts and sharing. I think you are correct that most people wouldn’t think that they could put themselves on the list. I’m so glad to see that you have done so much positive work and like yourself.
This is great to read! This exercise really is one to stop and ponder over.
It’s a great exercise for everyone to do.