How Are You?
Today’s blogtember post prompt is to provide an update on what has been going on in my life. I titled this post ” How are you?” because it is the one question that most grieving individuals hate to hear. Of course, there are the true individuals who want to know but for the most part this question is something that is stated as you are passing someone in the hall at work, in the grocery store, at the gym as you set up for class. Seriously, think about how often you state this question. There have been many times when a sales clerk asks me that question and I just want to tell them everything… but I don’t. However, as I’ve decided to create this blog and you, my dear friend and follower, are wonderful enough to read along, it is my goal to be as honest as possible with my emotions, my life. As always, there is a lot going on in my life and I’m constantly thinking about the life, what I’m doing right now, what I want to do. I will not be able to touch on all of them in this post but I’m making plans for future posts!
- Two weeks ago I placed my Mom’s house on the market. We haven’t been fortunate enough to have it sold yet (I’m aware that’s being uber hopeful), but I’m going to try to keep my anxiety down and know that it will sale. After having the house cleaned, it felt good to walk through the rooms without belongings. As I’ve said from the beginning, my Mom’s belongings and the house were not my Mom. My realtor was wonderful in regards that after signing the paperwork she asked me if I wanted to be there when she put the sign in the yard. I walked out with her as she did it and knew it was the right time.
- I did spend a few minutes in the house alone after she left. I sat on the the fireplace in the living room and for the first time in a long time thought of some memories which really made me smile. That was the fireplace I stood on to be as tall as my Senior Prom date (I wasn’t and I had heels on). In the corner of the kitchen, my brother and I used to have the table where we played video games. A good life occurred in that house. I will continue to stop by, but not as often. I also know that when an offer is accepted I will need to do one last walk through.
- Classes started at the University of Kentucky and I’m attempting to find a new routine and schedule. I’m struggling with this as my teaching schedule is at odd times and there are meetings and other responsibilities. My OCD is being put to the test.
- Just as classes started, it also felt like all of my grief emotions hit me. “I don’t’ have time to deal with all of this” I stated to the universe. And the universe laughed. Oh well, a girl does what she has to do. I work out when I can, vent to my friends and husband and have an ongoing discussion with the universe. Grief never leaves you and is with you 24 hours a day. I’m exhausted from the emotions.
- This past Friday, I made myself feel better by spending some time decorating the indoors for Fall. Additionally, I created our new door wreath. Although, it did take longer to pull together, it felt great to be creative again. It makes me smile every time I pull out of the driveway. Next weekend, we need to work on more of the outside: mums, straw, pumpkins and scarecrows. I will always prefer summer but I do love Fall decorations.
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