When Your Life No Longer Fits

Over the past year my life has changed.

These changes have been both in physical location where I live, how I look and feel (over a year and a half I’ve been able to lose 30 pounds and found some control with my autoimmune issues) and emotional in regards to how I see the world.

For anyone new to this space, the past seven years have been full of more changes than I would have preferred to encounter. There were years of infertility treatments and miscarriages, the death of my Mother and Grandmother within four months of each other and leaving a job of almost 12 years.

Most areas of my life changed in a short amount of time leaving me feeling out of control at times. Over time, I began to make changes on my own – new diet, new exercise, new job opportunities. As a result, many things from the past no longer worked for who I was becoming.

One large change was where James and I chose to live. Last year we made the decision to sell our way too large for two people home and downsize. We made the decision to rent as we weren’t sure what we needed in a home or where we even needed to live in our city. What we did know was our beautiful four bedroom house in the suburbs no longer fit our life. We built that home with the intention of there being at least one child. We were living with spaces not being utilized but simply seen.

The life we created for ourselves no longer fit who we were becoming.

The process of downsizing has been one of the most therapeutic actions I have ever taken in my life. There has been no sadness but a feeling of relief in letting go of items that were simply filling a space and often weighing me down.

I was faced with the visible concept of life no longer fitting as I continued to regain my health and lose weight. I had a closet full of name brand, expensive clothing that ranged anywhere from 2 to 4 sizes too large for me. I wore some pieces as long as I could (as I loved them) but over time I have had to slowly replace the pieces with clothing that fit the new me.

At one point, I stood in my closet and wanted everything out. Although beautiful – they no longer fit me. I was and am no longer that woman physically or emotionally.

In fact, after a photoshoot with my photographer Renee, I kept going back to a photo that I (and everyone) loved and having to tell myself that was really who I was now.

Just as I let go of home items I thought I may someday need (and never did), holding onto items of clothing was cluttering and confusing my life.

This chapter of my life has had me thinking about how each of us encounter many times in our lives when life no longer fits.

  • We encounter the death of a loved one
  • A relationship (family, friendship or marriage) becomes toxic and needs to end
  • A job is eliminated or is a struggle or is no longer stimulating .
  • Health changes for the better or worse and those past eatting and fitness patterns no longer work
  • A baby is born or leaves home for college and daily life changes
  • Retirement occurs and the days need to be filled differently
  • A move to a new home or city has you moving through your day differently
  • There may not be one outstanding event but nothing feels right in life anymore. One just knows something new is needed. The past dreams no longer are there and following that path is miserable.

Most of us have the tendency to hold on to items in our lives far longer that we need to.

  • We do so because we might someday need multiple ice buckets (we had three) and wine glasses (I lost count) and multiple pairs of black pants (because if one is good, four six is better).
  • We do so because the item belonged to our great grandmother (but we have it boxed up in the storage closet and haven’t looked at it in seven years).
  • We stay in a job because the money is good even though the work environment is difficult and we are bored.
  • We know we need to change our health but staying miserable is more comfortable and safe than stopping bad habits.
  • We stay where we – be it a marriage, work, city because it is safe and making a change is scary.

Today, I want you to ask if your own life no longer fits?

Are you trying to fit into situations, home and clothing that is uncomfortable? Are you trying to follow along with everyone else as that is what you are supposed to do? Are you ignoring health concerns such as aches and pains or increased fatigue?

Holding on to who we used to be (or thought we were) only prevents us from becoming the best of what we can be.

With this post, today marks my return to publically blogging and the official launch of How To Make A Life Health and Life Coaching and website.

It took me longer that I expected to return to this space I have created but all the while, I knew I would return. I continue to hope to inspire, motivate and provide some guidance by sharing my own learning experiences. Providing inspiration to simply one person makes it worth it. Special thanks and love to my husband who is my constant cheerleader and who I could not do life without, my friends who listen and aren’t afraid to tell the honest truth, all the amazing women I work out with at various places in Lexington, my doctor who doesn’t say “there’s nothing else to do”, and my own Counselor/Life Coach who is the badass to me that I am to my own clients.

I continue to build a life that better fits me with individuals who feed my soul, activities and work that brings me joy, and different food that provides me with nourishment. It has not been easy but it has been worth it. This time has allowed me to create a new blueprint I am using to help my clients reinvent their own lives.

Before you leave, take some time to look around this new website that not only includes my blog but the various coaching packages I am offering to women. I am especially proud to offer Walk and Talk Coaching which incorporates the benefit of health and nature with the process of self discovery. Additionally, I continue to offer face to face sessions along with speaking and training engagements.

Let me help you create a life that fits who you are and your own How To Manual this summer!