The Necessity of Change and Loss
Changes and Loss. (A necessity we must have.)
These are two things that can be expected out of life. Yet, most everyone struggles with. them. I have yet to meet someone who openly embraces change but it is a necessity that everything in life needs. Nature shows us the necessity for different seasons in regards to existence.
Although most of us do not feel we have a choice when it comes to change and loss, we do get to choose the perspective in which we take. I have discovered and experienced the different perspectives and how these difference can impact our lives.
Most everyone logically knows that everything in life must end at some time. Yet, we often find ourselves holding on to so many things that we feel we can’t live without. (A relationship a dream, a job, an addiction, our loved ones).
In the past, I have struggled with the Fall season. For me, it did not represent beautiful colors and a slowing down of time but a time of loss.
This thought process became more prevalent to me in Fall 2012 when my Mother was diagnosed with an advanced cancer that I immediately knew would lead to her death. I remember driving down one of the main roads in Lexington after one of her appointments and correlating the changing of the leaves with the end of her life. As the trees’ leaves were changing and outwardly signifying the ending of their growing season, so was my mother’s life.
I realized during that time it was natural to want to hold on, just as we often want to hold onto the beautiful blooms of our summer flowers. Although I knew I could make it without her in my life, I did not want to.
When working as a grief counselor, I often utilized and used the analogy of the seasons to correlate with the human life cycle.
- Winter shows us the significance of resting and planning.
- Without spring and birth, we can not have new life.
- The sun of summer and nurturing ourselves leads to a season of growth.
- The transition of Fall is a reminder that plants and humans all eventually need to let go.
Life has taught me that in order to receive in this world, we must let go of what we are holding onto.
- Without fall, the trees are unable to become green in the spring.
- Without letting go of painful emotions, difficult situations and relationships – we have no room for anything positive in our lives.
For me, the change in leaves no longer represent sadness but a beautiful mosaic of color and a reminder that like the trees, we need to take time to slow down and sometimes retreat.
Although painful, the losses I have experienced in this life of losing my parents, miscarriages, choosing to leave jobs and relationships have also provided me new chapters in my life that have blessed me.
Every loss in our lives is able to lead us to something beautiful if we are willing to look for it.
Seasons are important and necessary in both nature and our personal lives. Regardless of what season you are experiencing in your life, know that there is beauty in it and it can lead to wonderful places.
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