Food For Thought
Do you like to eat? Although I struggle with food allergies I love trying food from all cultures. Stepping outside of my comfort zone has brought about a love for spices and sushi is now one of my go to foods. This weekend James and I were able to attend the second annual Lexington Jewish Food Festival and I am still thinking of the latkes, brisket and pastrami. Fortunately, due to Jewish food restrictions, I can eat a majority of offerings.
This weekend, guests were able to select from over 13 offerings including blintz casserole, borscht, corned beef, knishes and latkes. Additionally there were baked goods for sale including challah, hamantaschen, honey cake, macaroons, matzo toffee and rugelach. James and I agreed that everything was wonderful. We didn’t take as many food photos simply because we were hungry and ready to eat.
However, something bothered me as we walked into the temple. Today I need to share my thoughts.
Outside of the temple were at least three police cars. One police officer was out front, another checked my purse before I entered and another was inside. After Lexington’s mayor announced plans to remove Confederate Statues, there have been talks of white supremacists marching in the city. Specifically, police patrols were increased at events this weekend. All of this angers me. I am not an uneducated, white, southern woman. In fact, I am an educated social worker who has worked with teens in appalachia, African American men in Louisville, Kentucky and I have sat with individuals from all cultures during end of life. However, today I recognized that despite my ability to understand, have empathy for my clients (and friends) who are Jewish, African American and others who are discriminated against; I can never truly understand.
I can not understand because I am a white woman. I have never had to worry about walking into my house of worship for fear that someone would try to attack. I have never feared someone pulling my car over because of the color of my skin. I have and continue to live comfortably due to my white privilege. My family raised me to respect everyone. Some may find it hard to believe but I do not automatically recognize one’s race/skin tone/sexuality. I am more likely to remember if an individual was nice or if they smiled and sometimes if they have good shoes. I pick up on an individual’s energy and view them in that light.
This is not to say I do not have biases, after all I am human. The social work advocate in me feels this post needs to be more in depth. However, as I write these words I feel anything I write will not be as eloquent as I desire. What I ask is that you begin to think about your own thoughts, prejudices and actions. Have you experienced a moment in your life like I did today? 
The events of the last month have been so hard for me to wrap my head around. I am just trying my best to teach my son that we love and respect everyone. I want to do more, but it starts at home and I can do that much for now.
We have to start with ourselves and hope that by beginning at home, there will be positive ripple effects.
This is something that I dealt with as a child. I lived on an island. Ours was a military base with mostly white families. My mother is native to the country and I would constantly hear other parents talking bad of the Marshalleese people. That they were thiefs, poor, drunks and that they were dirty. But because I was so fair skinned no one ever really took time to think that they were talking about me too. So many times I felt like I needed to side with the “white girls” because other wise I was all those things people said. I am now raising 2 boys who are half mexican, a quarter caucasian and a quarter pacific islander. And I am raising them to love everyone for nothing but their heart and how they treat others.
Kim, I don’t even know what to say! I know there have been many others who have been in the place you were as a child. I hope you now know how beautiful you are now. It by teaching your sons to love that we can someday hope we will not have to address this issue.
It’s such a sad, confusing world we live in. I truly believe that acceptance, kindness, respect, and understanding will be the things that save us all.
I agree with you Corey!
Great post, Sheryl, and thanks for shedding light on a topic that absolutely needs to be addressed more often.
I am saddened by all the attacks on houses of worship and Jewish cemeteries across the country. And by the violence especially against young black men in this country. I’ve had to turn off the news a lot more recently because hatred against any minority group always shakes me, and these incidents are happening more and more.
That said, I think it’s so great you tried something new and sampled some delicious Jewish foods and learned about new cultures. As simplistic as this might sound, if more people approached life and people with a bit more understanding, we’d be more evolved as a species.
<3
Charlotte, I can not tell you how much I have learned from my Jewish clients over the years. Their willingness to discuss their own beliefs has allowed me to educate other clients in regards to death,dying and grief (seriously, the Jewish culture handles grief so well compared to some others).
After November, I had many of my Jewish clients have to process their emotions and fears. How sad that we still have individuals struggling with these emotions. I do not and can not comprehend the hate that exists.
On a happier note, one of my clients has always invited me to her Seder dinner (but I can’t go due to my role as her counselor), it was nice to be able to experience the food. If only everyone would be willing to get to know each other!
I never really thought about that (how Jewish people handle grief) but I can see it now that you mention it.
If you are ever looking for a good read, I’d highly recommend “This is Where I Leave You” by Jonathon Tropper. It explores this topic in particular and was a book that stayed with me long after it had ended.. XOXO
PS: I think it’s lovely you were invited to a Seder. If you have the chance to attend one, I def recommend–it’s a beautiful, solemn experience <3
It has been so hard turning my client down. She understands but always mentions that I am welcome. Crazy ethics and boundaries!!! I have read Tropper’s book and it is very good!! Thanks for mentioning it, I hadn’t thought of it in awhile. XOXO
You are so right. I briefly touched on this a couple of weeks ago (though not as eloquently as you put it!), and, the reality is, there are some things I’ll never understand because I’m a heterosexual, Christian, white woman. Things are so confusing and scary right now, aren’t they?
I’ve spent my career being welcomed by others who are not like me in race, religion or sexuality but the truth is, I am who I am and no matter how much empathy I have for my friends/clients – I can never walk in their shoes and lives. Yesterday truly made me sad – but I was so happy to be there.
I think we all have prejudices or preconceived notions but it’s good to recognize these and understand that. I know your specific experience is something I noticed when I went to a spa day set up by Muslims to help raise money for immigrants, as well as youth group – there was a police car outside the place and this is not something Christians have to experience ( I say Christians because this tends to be the most accepted religion).
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
It is scary times for a lot of our country right now. Thank you for being so open and honest about your thoughts on these issues.
There are days that I don’t even want to turn on my computer or read a newspaper as it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach with what is going on in our country, in our world. I grew up in a military family where I was always surrounded by all ethnicities. I never had a moment where I thought someone was different then me because of the color of their skin or the religion that they practiced. More proof that we learn these things as children, some of my oldest friends are from when I was a child, even thousands of miles away I am still able to connect with all of my friends and never once have I though, oh so and so is this ethnicity so I should probably use caution now. I absolutely hate where we are all headed. Thank you for your thoughts.